On liars and nose pickers

Oh hey there! It's me, Bill Kristol. Don't mind me, I'm just going to continue to tell lies and pick my nose.

Tony Snow is completely wack'd

Alberto Gonzales is a bit, fat, liar. We all know it, but Tony Snow and the rest of the Bush White House cronies simply blame Congressional pill popping leading to mass confusion in the minds of Senators and Representatives everywhere!!

The White House and Justice Department say what looks like a contradiction between testimony of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and FBI Director Robert Mueller is nothing more than a confusion of terms.

White House spokesman Tony Snow said Friday that Gonzales "has testified truthfully and tried to be very accurate" when discussing a controversial surveillance program.

But when publicly discussing "matters of classification," Snow said, "Sometimes it's going to lead people to talk very carefully and there's going to be plenty room for interpretation or conclusion."

In a statement Thursday night, Brian Roehrkasse, acting Justice Department public affairs director, wrote, "Confusion is inevitable when complicated classified activities are discussed in a public forum."

What the fuck? These guys really need to hire some PR firms or something. So confusion only occurs in a public forum? Or maybe the White House is just trying to make the case that no one in this administration should be subjected to scrutiny and oversight when there are so many "cameras and reporters" around, huh?

Money man Mitt Romney is sooo popular!!

Rich man and dog hater Mitt Romney is far too popular and busy to participate in the Republican YouTube debates scheduled for September.

Rudolph Giuliani and Mitt Romney, both with dozens of videos on their YouTube channels, have not signed up. Neither have the rest of the Republican candidates, including Rep. Tom Tancredo (Colo.), whose "Tancredo Takes" on his YouTube channel draw hundreds of views. Sources familiar with the Guiliani campaign said he's unlikely to participate. Kevin Madden, Romney's spokesman, said the former Massachusetts governor has seven debate invitations covering a span of 11 days in September.

What the fuck? Is Mitt Romney just getting random invitations from random people to come to their house and debate them? Or their kids? Or their kitchen table? Or maybe even their dog? Otherwise, why the hell would he have seven pretend debate invitations. I call bullshit.

Tommy Thompson pulls the 'deaf' card!

Good news! Tommy Thompson doesn't hate gay people, he just can't afford a hearing aid that works!

Republican presidential candidate Tommy Thompson continued to defend himself Wednesday for an answer he gave during a debate last week — saying employers should have the right to fire gay workers — and said the misunderstanding could be attributed to his hearing problem.

The former Wisconsin governor said he thought he had been asked whether enough laws are on the books to protect gays, but his hearing aid went out during the debate.

So, if that's true, here's how it looks on paper:

Question: Are enough laws on the books to protect gays?
Thompson: I think that should be left up to individual employers.

Ha ha! Tommy Thompson, you don't have a broken hearing aid, you just suck at spin jobs, and your shit show staff needs to learn better damage control.